Energy-Free Stress Management Strategies
26 evidence-based tools to effectively respond to stress.
Intentional Stress vs Stress Management
If you've followed my account for more than a day, you know I advocate for intentional stress as a tool to build resilience. Deliberate discomfort serves as training for life's inevitable challenges. However, intentional stress training fundamentally differs from stress management.
When you're already emotionally overwhelmed, adding more stress isn't the answer. Instead, your priority should be returning to a rational state.
Stress management strategies help reverse emotional reasoning in the moment.
Resilience training prevents emotional reasoning from taking over in the first place.
The Reality of Stress
Life is going to hit you hard.
Stressors will pile up.
There will inevitably be hard times.
What tools do you have at your disposal to manage stress?
The question isn't whether you'll face challenges, but how prepared you'll be when they arrive.
“We don’t rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our training.”
-Archilochus
The Foundation: Self-Awareness
You can't improve what you can't identify.
Self-awareness serves as the cornerstone of effective stress management. This awareness helps you differentiate between:
Stressors: The external circumstances potentially triggering the stress response
Stress: Internal thoughts and feelings about stressors.
This distinction reveals where you have control. With stressors involving other people, communication might be possible. Otherwise, you're left with two options: acceptance or avoidance.
Your stress response, however, offers numerous opportunities for intervention.
I explained a basic system for managing stress in my first Substack post:
Stress Management 101
We live in a time of abundance where our access to information has never been greater. This, however, has not correlated with improved psychological well-being as stress, burnout, substance abuse, and mental health disorders are on the rise. Early intervention in imperative in preventing burnout or long term consequences of stress. Everyone experiences …
Perspective is Key
Reframing situations and adopting new mindsets prove crucial in stress management.
Your interpretation of thoughts or events often impacts your stress response more than circumstances themselves.
Taking Action: Both Active and Passive
Stress management isn't one-size-fits-all. Individual variability necessitates that we all determine what uniquely works best for ourselves.
There are countless ways to respond to stress.
Exertion-Based Approaches:
Exercise
Deliberate heat or cold exposure
Fasting from various urges
Fear exposure
Learning a new skill
These activities transform our physiology by temporarily causing a heightened stress response followed by recovery. The emotional brain cannot differentiate between causes of stressors or reasons for recovery. Therefore, effective response to an intentional stressor encourages recovery from other uncontrollable circumstances in your life. I love writing about challenges for consideration in this realm.
Energy-Conserving Techniques:
Conscious breathing
Pleasurable activities
Sensory activation
Strategic recovery
Recovery differs from rest. While rest is passive, recovery can be active without depleting your resources. The key is finding activities that benefit you.
Energy-Free Strategies for Stress Management
The following offers a collection of practical, accessible strategies for managing stress without requiring significant energy expenditure or resources.
None of the recommendations I suggest today will cause you to sweat. Activity doesn’t have to imply discomfort or high exertion. Behaviors can be beneficial without zapping energy.
Each strategy is designed to interrupt the stress response and promote recovery through simple, intentional practices. Whether you have just a moment or several minutes, these techniques can help shift your mental and physiological state to increase executive functioning and resilience.
I break down the following 26 techniques into two sections:
Sensory Approaches
Cognitive Interventions
Sensory approaches like breathing, resting, temperature, and vibration are all extremely low energy but incredibly effective at physiologically reversing emotional reactions and returning you to a grounded state.
Cognitive interventions like asking questions, mantras, offering yourself advice, and temporal distancing are low energy but require some amount of executive functioning.
Sensory approaches are effective in managing and recovering from the stress response. Cognitive interventions are useful in encouraging rationality. Combined, the two offer skills to maximize resilience in any life domain.
Not every strategy will work for everyone or every situation.
The goal is to build a personalized toolkit that works for you.
Give one or two strategies a try. If they work, great! Tool added.
If not, pivot to another.
"Absorb what is useful. Discard what is not. Add what is uniquely your own."
-Bruce Lee
26 Energy-Free Stress Management Strategies
Sensory Approaches
Conscious Breathing
I’m not a fan of using the word “should”, but intentional breathing SHOULD be the first action one takes following awareness of stress. If anything, you MUST do this strategy if wanting or needing to efficiently ground yourself.
Respiration is an autonomic function. It also automatically changes in response to stress.
Making a subconscious function become conscious is a great way to slow down emotional reasoning.
Nasal breathing with extended exhales and/or the physiologic sigh (one large inhale followed by another inhale to get to full capacity and then an extended exhale) are always my initial response to noticing I’m experiencing the stress response. I often honestly joke that I physiologic sigh as much as I breathe normally these days.
Overriding your subconscious breathing encourages rationality when you’re experiencing stress.
Intentional breathing can be a response that initially combats emotional reactivity.
Train this skill both in known stressful environments and with intentional stress.
Bring attention to disordered ventilation.
Override your physiology with the power of conscious breathing.
Music
Music is magical.
One of the few things that can activate both hemispheres of the brain, music can shift a mental state almost immediately.
What kind of music do you listen to?
What kind of message and melody does it encourage?
When distressed, does it amplify or attenuate your emotions?
Create a stress reducing playlist based on your preferences and keep it holstered for future use. Music that promotes resilience and/or recovery from stress is an excellent source of strength that requires zero energy once you hit play.
Musical melodies can also be therapeutic melodies.
The powerful Gwendolyn Bounds of Not Too Late just created a playlist based on recommendations from her community that inspires agency. The eclectic list of songs represents various preferences to types of music that encourage resilience.
See the Not Too Late playlist here.
Imagery
There are countless studies on the impact of imagery to decrease stress.
Being outdoors and looking into the distance.
Looking out the window when you’re indoors.
Even changing the background on your computer to a nature scene has been shown to reduce the stress response.
Activate your peripheral vision.
Observe far away objects.
Changing your visual focus shifts your cognitive state.
See a bigger picture objectively to illuminate a healthier perspective subjectively.
Walk Outdoors
Nature is healing.
An ideal environment for recovery is outdoors.
Remove your distractions.
Temporarily distance yourself from the stressor physically and mentally.
Nature expands your perspective, opens your mind, and encourages introspection.
Getting lost outside for a bit often helps one find solutions.
Consensual Physical Touch
The power of a hug. When things are tough, we go into survival mode - playing defense against life. We become cognitively closed off.
Opening your arms and embracing someone you care about encourages the opening of our mental state.
Physical connection with another is also a reminder that we aren’t alone.
Our bodies produce heat. This energy is felt by another during all forms of physical touch.
A consensual, genuine connection with another provides perceived power and maybe even an actual transfer of energy promoting resilience.
Vibration or Pressure
Physically change your mental state with the application of pleasurable force to your body.
Vibration, massage, or deep pressure in an area all shift the focus of the mind to the body. The temporary sensation can produce calming effects physically that discretely influence stress-reduction results emotionally.
The emotional brain doesn’t differentiate between causes of stress or recovery.
Creating calm in one domain inherently causes it in another.
Food
Please don’t binge eat to combat stress.
That being said, pleasurable food can be an excellent way to temporarily distract and improve a stressed state.
The gustatory system, responsible for our sense of taste, sends powerful messages to the brain when we are consuming preferred or flavorful food.
Some evidence-based foods include dark chocolate or anything rich in omega-3 fatty acids like oily fish or seeds. Warm liquids like tea have also been shown to reduce perceived stress.
Alter your current state by sending your mind other signals to consider.
Smells
The olfactory system, responsible for our sense of smell, arguably can override a current state even more so than the gustatory.
Throw a stink bomb on the floor next time you’re stressed and let me know where your brain goes.
Smells can shift states in many directions.
For stress reduction, uniquely preferred smells can have calming effects.
Common ones for consideration are lavender, vanilla, peppermint, flowers, lemon, or that blankie you’re still secretly hiding in your closet from childhood (smells attached to positive memories are great considerations).
Stopping to smell the roses doesn’t just need to be for appreciation, it can also be for stress reduction.
Favorite Stretch
Feeling tense or constrained?
Loosen up with a good stretch.
Elongate your body to relieve tension in your mind.
My personal favorite stretch positions are the deep squat pose, cobra pose, or child’s pose.
Find a few that work for you and get into one for around that special 90 seconds.
Relieve pressure in your body with a good stretch while your nervous system follows suit.
Comfortable Temperature Change
Causing thermoregulation in response to head or cold will adjust both your literal and figurative thermostats.
Feeling angry? Good time to cool down.
Feeling blue? You might benefit from warming up.
The forehead, palms, and pads of the feet are excellent locations to apply cool or warm objects when a shower or other forms of temperature regulating systems are not available.
Use temperature to alter your current condition.
Scroll
Social media is often a discrete stressor. A medium that perpetuates stress rather than relieves it.
I, however, advocate for the creation of alias accounts. Ones that don’t involve your friends, family, news sources, controversial figures, politics, or anything else that may lead to stress.
Algorithms are optimized to the accounts and content you engage with.
Why not create an account that only follows your personal interests or perceptually uplifting and positive content to use as a resource when needed?
Social media is a tool. Like all tools, it can be beneficial or dangerous.
How we use social media is up to us.
Scream
My wife is a speech pathologist so she’s probably not going to appreciate this suggestion but absolutely emptying your lungs with a good scream in a private space can be a great way to relieve stress.
Screaming at the top of your lungs obviously expends some energy but so does every other aspect of living.
Low pitch vowels and diaphragmatic screaming are better for the vocal folds than high pitch or chest screaming.
If unsure what vowels the “weird guy online who says everything is a mental state” suggested to preserve vocal fold health, then just rip it. Causing mild vocal fry is better than punching a hole in the wall or doing anything else you would regret due to extreme anger or stress.
Blow off some steam with a good scream.
Non-Sleep Deep Rest (NSDR)
The extraordinary Andrew Huberman brought this one to my attention.
I used to get stressed when unable to fall asleep. Knowing how essential sleep is, I would stew as the precious minutes passed by because of my missed opportunity.
There is now great research on non-sleep deep rest (NSDR). The restorative effects of sleep can be mostly achieved with this practice. Similar to meditation, NSDR is simply turning off your mind, maybe focusing on nothing other than breathing, as you lay still. Regardless of sleep, the body and brain are recovering.
This knowledge removed any stress I felt around sleep. I will sometimes lay down during the day and just close my eyes for ten minutes with this intention. When I arise, I feel recovered and ready to attack the next objective.
Furthermore, this knowledge allows me to fall asleep more easily at night as I no longer am concerned about potentially entering into sleep later as long as my focus is on NSDR.
Turn off your mind and it will recover.
Sleep
There is nothing like a good night’s sleep to help you return to a rational mental state.
Sleep is important enough that I’ve written three challenge posts to encourage adequate recovery when able:
There is nothing more impactful and essential for recovery than sleep.
Prioritize this whenever possible.
Cognitive Interventions
Count to 90
Like intentional breathing for sensory approaches, I believe counting, specifically to 90, to be the most powerful cognitive intervention one can make once aware of the stress response.
Charlie of StoicWisdoms creates life-changing posts offering posts every week. A recent one illuminated “The 90-Second Rule.” He explained how research by Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor revealed the initial physiologic response of stress lasts exactly 90 seconds. Responses that last longer than this are influenced by our thought interpretations and subsequent actions.
Understanding that the initial wave of stress is time constrained presents an opportunity.
Rather than adding fuel to the internal fire, why not just mentally turn off or at least distract yourself from a current stressor while you count to 90 in your head?
After this time period, you may find you have returned to a rational state and are ready to take effective action.
Emotional states beyond 90 seconds are decisions.
Train your mind and body to make a different choice after that time.
Question Everything
Our mind tends to make statements rather than ask questions when reacting to stress. In a life-or-death situation, this is a good thing. We need efficient action.
Most stressors are not life or death.
Asking ourselves questions about the stressor and, more importantly, our perceptions and feelings can slow down reactions and encourage a calculated response.
What is another reason this is happening rather than your current assumption?
What is another perspective you could take?
Is your current state productive for action?
Are you in control of yourself?
Give Yourself Advice
Continuing the theme from the previous strategy, further distance yourself from your emotions by considering what you’d recommend to a friend in a similar situation.
Illeism is the act of viewing yourself in the third person. Cognitively detaching from your body and viewing yourself as a friend encourages rationality.
We are much better at giving advice than taking it.
Observing our stressors, thought interpretations, and subsequent actions from the outside allows us to be more objective.
Ask yourself, “What would I tell my best friend or significant other if they were in this same situation and asked for help?”
The consideration alone reduces stress.
Temporal Distancing
How important will this issue be next week?
Next year?
At the end of life?
Consideration of the future can assist in realigning perceived significance of the present.
Time is relative.
Anything that is relative is a mental state.
Label Your Feelings
Feelings are not orders for action. They’re simply results of thought interpretation.
Practice labeling feelings and emotions when they arise.
The discipline enhances emotional intelligence while providing conscious awareness of your current state.
Effective intervention is only possible for those who are aware of an opportunity.
Externalize Thoughts
Externalizing your thoughts through talking or journaling can be therapeutic.
It’s one thing to ruminate on the judgement of your thoughts inside your head. Once you objectify those thoughts by putting them out into the world, it becomes easier to analyze them or consider alternative perspectives.
When utilizing this tool, focus on your perceptions and not conclusions or assumptions you’ve made.
What have you observed?
How does that make you feel?
What are you sure of?
Where are you uncertain?
What is the most generous perspective you can make in relation to this current circumstance?
Objectify your subjective interpretations.
Encourage cognitive flexibility by reflecting on your current state.
Humor
If you can’t make light of a situation, I guarantee there’s a good friend or comedian out there who can.
Who are your go-to friends or comedians for humor?
The sillier and more inappropriate the better for me.
The more someone can poke fun of various aspects of the world, the more you may find yourself doing the same.
Laughter can often be the best medicine.
Play
Shift your state by redirecting your focus.
Distractions, particularly pleasurable ones, allow for the passage of time and displaced attention to encourage recovery.
Most issues don’t require immediate intervention.
Why not find ways to enjoy yourself when able to take breaks from your problems?
Singing
Combine the effectives of music, play, and displaced focus when deciding to sing instead of stress.
Put on your favorite song and let it rip.
If you don’t know any songs, sing the ABCs or Happy Birthday.
We aren’t trying to win any competitions; we’re trying to activate our parasympathetic nervous system to slow down our stress response.
Sing from the heart to help with recovery in the mind.
Read
“Books permit us to voyage through time. To tap the wisdom of our ancestors.”
- Carl Sagan
A great way to escape the present is to get lost in a good book.
Books connect us with the greatest minds and stories throughout history whenever you’re willing to explore.
Nonfiction or fiction.
Stories or research.
Enjoyment or analytical.
The options are endless.
Reading is a skill that offers various benefits.
Books are nutrition for the mind.
Mental Vacation
Vacations are great. They’re also unnecessary and rarely solve any problems.
Temporary detachment from a stressful circumstance is essential when there are no safety considerations.
You don’t need to physically travel to receive the benefits of detachment.
Vacations can be taken in the mind.
Visualize that campfire in the mountains.
Go to the beach to watch the waves.
Travel back in time to an inspiring core memory.
You can go anywhere whenever you want with a creative and flexible mind.
Mantras
We all have mantras whether we know it or not. Unfortunately, many of them are not productive.
Our thinking patterns become subconscious reaction to circumstances our brains and bodies believe they have dealt with before. The stress response encourages emotional reasoning which often leads to our deep-seated negative mantras.
How do you think I might respond to a stressor if my inner monologue is saying, “This isn’t fair!”
Same stressor, but now I’m thinking, “I can do hard things.”
Make resilient mantras a conscious practice in response to the initial awareness of the stress response.
My other go-to mantra when things get hard is, “Control what you can.”
Update your internal monologue to optimize your subsequent actions.
The great Genevieve of The Ditch Stress Substack made a post about some of her favorite mantras. Check it out here.
The Path Forward
You can't build resilience through intentional stress if you haven't first developed the ability to manage unexpected stress.
The Progression:
Develop self-awareness. Learn to recognize your stress signals.
Establish reliable management strategies to encourage recovery from current life stressors.
Begin to implement intentional stress training.
Work to optimize resilience in at least one domain daily - forever.
This sequential approach ensures you're not just surviving stress but using it as a tool for growth.
Your capacity for handling life's challenges expands with each intentional step, transforming potential breaking points into opportunities for strengthening.
Build your toolkit.
One can’t be resilient if unable to manage stress.
Develop a unique skillset of stress management strategies to provide the opportunity to train resilience with intentional stress.
Resources
Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goldman
Stress Resets by Jennifer Taitz
UCLA Study on Labeling Feelings
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Comments from current subscribers:
Kyle Shepard, a man whose life embodies the very essence of resilience and Stoic principles. As a military Resilience Instructor and father of three, Kyle doesn't just teach mental toughness – he lives it. He's a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu brown belt, former world record holder for burpees, and has spent over a decade teaching warriors how to stay strong under pressure. But what truly sets Kyle apart isn't his impressive credentials. It's how he's transformed personal struggles into wisdom, combining Stoic principles with real-world experience.
-Stoic Wisdoms
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Found you via Michael Easter. You’re my only other paid subscription. Looking forward to ideas for maintaining and improving my resilience as I approach 70.
I became a founding member because your time and contributions have value. Keep sharing.
I’ve been perusing your many posts. They are a wealth of info, ideas and inspiration. I could spend months just reading them.
I have a paid subscription with Kyle. He knows what he's talking about. He's educated, experienced (military/ personal training/jiu-jitsu), and to top it off, just an all-round decent bloke. My lower back arthritis and torn hip cartilage have been aggravating me for years, and I've tried all kinds of different routes to make the pain get better or to at least, be able to move normally. But then I've found Kyle's work. His articles vary from short to deep, simple to technical, and theory to practice. My back and hip are getting better and as far as I'm concerned, Kyle is my physical trainer now. I've dropped a reliance on anti-inflammatories and I'm more able in my body than I've been in years. But it's the mental game too. Physical resilience translates into mental toughness. This is no joke either. You can train how mentally resilient you are by training with intentional stress, and Kyle's the guy for the job. Strongly recommend.
-Adam PT
Nice post Kyle. This line is so key: "Most stressors are not life or death."
Amazing post! This is like the blueprint for all manner of stress busting techniques! Some here I've never heard of before, like the 90 second count, which I will for sure start trying. Great to see a list of options with a low barrier to entry, which can be critical for really stressed out folks.
Thank you so much for the mention! Haha also glad to see at least one adult other than me is still using the word blankie. 😂