Everyone knows that strength training with weights causes one to get stronger. Resistance is needed for growth. This mindset, however, often doesn’t translate to other areas of life. Perceptual weights outside of the gym become detrimental burdens to productivity, freedom, and ability to thrive.
Getting married and fully committing yourself to another person is undoubtedly choosing to add resistance to all areas of life. The old ball and chain is an ever-present consideration requiring constant management. Exponentially compound your “burdens” by having children. No amount of strength can fully prepare one for parenthood. Daily challenges of raising children feel like a loaded barbell whose plates are continuously being changed by God. Dynamic uncertainties of life provide countless forms of resistance from all directions. Buying a house, having a job, or essentially being accountable to anything outside of yourself is a weight.
Weight management is a choice.
Throw on a weight vest and just wear it around the house. You’ll quickly find out this stressor progressively feels heavier over time. When you take off the vest, you’ll feel incredibly light and strong. The stimulus from the weight vest objectively and subjectively strengthened your mind and body. After adequate recovery, throw it on again. You may find your ability to manage this weight has improved because you know the benefits, your limits, and what it will feel like when you recover. Furthermore, you’re choosing to wear this weight so your perspective is oriented toward resilience. The intention in wearing it is growth. Any form of theoretical weights can do this in our lives. They’re either burdens or opportunities based on perspective and actions.
Weight management can either lead to burnout or thriving. Perceived constraints either discourage or provide confidence.
How do you view your weights?
Do you have adequate recovery protocols?
Are the various forms of resistance in your life adding to or detracting from your mindset?
There will be times where our weights will feel heavier for various reasons. The phases and challenges of life will require spiritual strength in many ways.
Are you training the mind and body to respond or waiting to see how you’ll react?
Perspective and subsequent function relating to adversity greatly influence the kind of lives we live.
Adversity is neither good nor bad. It just is.
Life weights are mental states.
Acknowledge and fairly evaluate the various forms of resistance in your life. Mental, physical, emotional, social, financial, spiritual, etc. Find ways to improve, reframe, or get rid of the unnecessary baggage. Draw perspective and strength from the subjectively necessary weights.
While my life has “slowed down” since getting married and having children, my orientation toward improvement and fulfillment has grown significantly.
I am better because of my weights.
Instead of preventing growth-related pursuits, my weights have added purpose to the most important ones. My weights have enhanced my ability to adapt in order to consistently show up while managing a dynamic load. Ultimately, my weights have shifted my perspective regarding how I want to live and the kind of man I want to be.
I love and am grateful for my weights.
You decide the weights you carry and how you carry them.
Choose wisely.
Become more resilient by joining our team.
For $5/month or $50/year, you’ll unlock exclusive offers, personal access to me, and subscriber-only posts to include:
Resilience-building challenge series, workouts of the week, masterclasses, and more.
Full archive of past posts with personal recommendations from me based on your interests.
Early access to and input on all developing products.
Become a founding member to put real skin in the game:
Quarterly 30-minute call with me where a personal development plan to build resilience will be provided following each call.
Personalized intentional stress challenge post that will be crafted based on your unique goals.
I’ve worked 1:1 with thousands of individuals in healthcare, military, and leadership positions.
Guiding people in improving individual resilience and life trajectory is what I do.
There is no better time to make a beneficial change than now.
Comments from current subscribers:
Kyle Shepard, a man whose life embodies the very essence of resilience and Stoic principles. As a military Resilience Instructor and father of three, Kyle doesn't just teach mental toughness – he lives it. He's a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu brown belt, former world record holder for burpees, and has spent over a decade teaching warriors how to stay strong under pressure. But what truly sets Kyle apart isn't his impressive credentials. It's how he's transformed personal struggles into wisdom, combining Stoic principles with real-world experience.
-Stoic Wisdoms
I became a founding member because I admire and respect the effort and quality of the work you put into your Substack and I wish to support that effort.
You don’t know me, or anything about me, but I just want to say thank you. Your posts, comments and reminders of how to live life have come at an absolutely pivotal part of my life. The encouragement and drive you give not only myself but thousands of others cannot be overlooked. You are creating something amazing, and I’m so blessed I can be a part of the journey alongside you.
Found you via Michael Easter. You’re my only other paid subscription. Looking forward to ideas for maintaining and improving my resilience as I approach 70.
I became a founding member because your time and contributions have value. Keep sharing.
I’ve been perusing your many posts. They are a wealth of info, ideas and inspiration. I could spend months just reading them.
I have a paid subscription with Kyle. He knows what he's talking about. He's educated, experienced (military/ personal training/jiu-jitsu), and to top it off, just an all-round decent bloke. My lower back arthritis and torn hip cartilage have been aggravating me for years, and I've tried all kinds of different routes to make the pain get better or to at least, be able to move normally. But then I've found Kyle's work. His articles vary from short to deep, simple to technical, and theory to practice. My back and hip are getting better and as far as I'm concerned, Kyle is my physical trainer now. I've dropped a reliance on anti-inflammatories and I'm more able in my body than I've been in years. But it's the mental game too. Physical resilience translates into mental toughness. This is no joke either. You can train how mentally resilient you are by training with intentional stress, and Kyle's the guy for the job. Strongly recommend.
-Adam PT
Amazing article.
I always thought of added weight in terms of military training for the real deal. We trained hard so when it was time to face the real thing, it was easier.
It’s the same with building mental resilience.
You should keep your self fit and ready for when a real problem comes your way.
"Weight management can either lead to burnout or thriving."
Great essay Kyle! 👏 I would add one caveat (which I'm sure you will agree with) that beyond a certain point, more "weight" will cause damage and breakdown, regardless of mindset. In dealing with workplace "burnout" over the past 50 years, leaders and consultants have prescribed "stress management" (mindset) training to help people cope with excessive workloads. The burnout rate has steadily INCREASED over that time. Sometimes the actual weight just has to be DECREASED!