Self-Control and Intention

Stoic reflection on exercising control and setting intentions in the modern world.

There are Stoic influencers and then there are Stoic practitioners.

Enda Harte (The Irish Stoic)

is the latter.

A jack of all trades in the music industry, Enda exemplifies philosophy can be beautifully applied in any domain. His writing as a soul to it that uniquely distinguishes his perspective and approach to life.

Enda practices what he preaches.

He’s also a sought-out expert to both produce or review books and publications on philosophy.

As you will see in this guest post, Enda is phenomenal at using ancient wisdom to help anyone effectively respond to modern challenges.

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By Enda Harte

It’s all too easy to drift through the morning with your eyes glued to a screen. From the second we wake up, emails first, social media second, news broadcasts on TV, and pings from every app imaginable. Anxiety is already with you before breakfast.

This is known as ‘Digital overload’, and it weirdly feels like the norm in society, but something within you should be resisting the urge to pursue it. What if instead you began each day by asking, “Who do I want to be today?”

Epictetus, gave a timeless bit of advice in this regard:

First, say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do. For in almost everything we see this to be the practice. Olympic champions first determine what they would be, and then act accordingly. To a racer in a longer course there must be one kind of diet, walking, anointing, and training; to one in a shorter, all these must be different; and to a Pentathlete, still more different. You will find the case the same in the manual arts.. (Discourses 3.23)

Everyone quoting this normally leaves out the second part above. It has more significance. If we set an intention for the day, there’s a higher chance of anchoring ourselves before the chaos sets in. Rather than reacting to the world of which we largely have no control over, we need to choose how to engage with it in the first place.

Epictetus himself was no philosopher in a palace. He was a battered and bruised former slave who knew the real value of this. We are taught that while we cannot control the world, we can absolutely control how we respond to it. In the handbook of Epictetus, one of the first lessons we come across is:

We are not disturbed by events themselves, but by the views we take of them… When, therefore, we are hindered or disturbed, or grieved, let us never impute it to others, but to ourselves—that is, to our own views (Enchiridion, V)

Read that quote again. In practice, that means recognising the limits of our power. You cannot stop your inbox filling up, but you can choose not to let it ruin your mood. You cannot stop the headlines or devastation, but you can stop your doom scrolling and eliminate some worry in the process.

Daily self-examination, done kindly, mind you, helps us correct mistakes before they harden into habits. That is how genuine intention over a period of time transforms into modern resilience.

Philosophy in Daily Life

Now to Musonius Rufus, the lesser-known but powerfully practical teacher of Epictetus, who had no time for philosophy that lived only in books. For him, philosophy meant action.

Musonius taught that we should live for virtue, not pleasure. That sounds stiff at first and hard to apply in modern life, right? But it is deeply human in its essence. In his view, true happiness comes not from fleeting enjoyment, but from consistently doing what is right for yourself first, and then others.

He was fond of small acts of self-restraint. He believed that training the body also trains the soul. More than likely an early adopter to cold showers. Certainly, consuming simple food. And yes, practicing moderate speech. No rage commenting for Musonius.

These were not punishments, but exercises. Every time we resist a distraction or indulgence, we strengthen the will.

Imagine this today. You put your phone in another room during breakfast. You take five minutes in silence before opening your laptop. You skip Starbucks coffee once or twice a week. Go for a walk in the evening for 10 minutes before you put the kids to bed or sit down in front of the TV. These act as practical reminders that you are in charge of your actions, not your impulses.

Musonius insisted that knowing what is good is not enough. We must practise it daily. Intention without action is a promise never kept. By choosing the small, hard thing now and then, we become better able to weather life’s larger storms. Resilience is like recharging a battery, you’re filling up that meter. One step at a time.

‘Indeed, philosophy is nothing but the practice of noble behaviour’… (Lecture 4)

In a similar vein Cato the Younger was a Roman statesman known not for writing philosophy, but for living it through and through. He stood against corruption, refused bribes, and preferred death ultimately to dishonour. He embodied what the Stoics meant by intention lived through integrity.

There is a brilliant quote attributed to his Great Grandfather, a man of similar stature:

‘..I would rather people wonder why I have no statue than why I have one.’ (Plutarch, Marcus Cato 19.4)

Cato the younger never chased popularity. Instead focused on principle, and what was right. In a world obsessed with followers and approval, though his example is radical.

Now we don’t have to go the lengths that Cato did, but perhaps the next time you impulse buy something or seek to go viral on social media, ask yourself; “Before you post this or click purchase; is it virtue or validation you are seeking?”

Let that sink in. It means walking away from petty purchases. It means choosing silence over cruelty. when tempted to respond quickly to an impulse, pause. Your intention is to be patient, not in the right or seeking that temporary dopamine hit.

Cato’s life ultimately reminds us that self-control and intention are not passive. They are acts of courage, which ultimately build up to? You guessed it. Resilience.

A Toolkit for Modern Resilience

We’ve compiled a list of prompts from the guidance of the Stoics and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to help with this. Here are five practical rituals to build resilience through intention and practice.

1. Morning reflection.
Before reaching for your phone, take one quiet moment. Ask yourself, “What virtue will guide me today?” Courage? Patience? Frugality? Say it aloud or write it down. Begin the day on your terms.

2. Know what you can control.
A classic psychological exercise. Write two lists: what is in your power, and what is not. Your mindset, choices, and words are yours. Other people’s opinions, delays, and tech hiccups are not. Focus your energy accordingly.

3. Practise the opposite.
Notice a recurring struggle? Try a small act that builds the opposite strength. If you tend to be impatient, pause longer before replying to that irritating email. If you often check your phone out of boredom, leave it in another room for an hour.

4. Create digital boundaries.
Set clear intentions around your tech use. Perhaps no screens after nine. Maybe one hour a day without the phone in your pocket. Protect your sanity.

5. Nightly review.
Before bed, take two minutes to reflect. Did I live according to my intention? Where did I do well? Where could I improve? No hard judgement. Growth comes not from punishment, but from awareness in the moment.

Closing Thoughts

In a noisy, anxious world, real Stoicism offers a calm, confident but realistic approach. It says: “You do not have to react to every alert. You do not have to please every person or capitalist urge to buy the new thing/trend. And you certainly do not have to be pulled apart by opinion, distraction or fear mongering.”

Each day you have a choice. Patience or frustration? The reality you face or short term gratification? Stillness or noise? Remember you are building resilience. Not the fake kind that looks like bravado, but the real kind that allows you to breathe deeply in chaos and carry on.

You are not a machine. You are not a slave to notifications. You are a human being with reason, values and free will.

Choose your intentions daily. Then live by them.

Some of my favorite articles from Enda:

Grappling with Stoicism

The Philosophy of Showing Up

You’re Still Here. Make It Count.