The Power of Doing Hard Things
How embracing challenges makes you stronger, wiser, and more resilient.
Today is a guest post from one of my favorite people on Substack - . Gen and I have been engaging with each other's work since our early days on Substack when we both just had ten subscribers and a passion for stress management.
One of my majors in college was psychology. When I read Gen’s posts, I feel like I’m reading a more well-written and better formatted version of the textbooks I would pour through during that time.
On her account, Ditch Stress, Gen shares simple, evidence-based strategies to manage stress, boost resilience, and find more enjoyment in life. Always quick, easy, and impactful reads. Highly recommend her account to anyone looking to build or improve a personal stress management toolkit.
The Power of Doing Hard Things
By Genevieve
You may be asking yourself: Why would you ever want to make your life harder than it already is? Doesn’t that sound counterintuitive—adding more challenges when you’re already trying to manage all of life’s stressors? Isn’t that the opposite of what we’re aiming for?
The best defense is a good offense.
Training yourself to handle stress in controlled situations builds your resilience and proves that you can indeed tackle hard things. It makes you antifragile.
Embracing the concept of antifragility can revolutionize how we approach stress and challenges in our lives. Doing hard things isn't just about enduring difficulty; it's about actively seeking out challenges that make us stronger.
Being antifragile means not just coping with stress but actually becoming stronger and more capable because of it. Instead of bouncing back to where you were before, antifragility actually helps you become stronger because of the challenges you face.
“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk the crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”
-Martin Luther King Jr.
Training for Hard Things
My best school for this lesson was running a marathon. The training up to the big day spread over 16 weeks, and while it started out easy, it was fairly grueling by the end.
Running further each week than I’d ever run before was daunting. Planning each meal, recovery session and speedwork session was beyond anything I’d done before. Running 20 miles in the summer heat around Stanley Park at 6am was tough.
But all of that was nothing compared to the big day. I was super nervous when I got there, with two of my friends that were running it with me. We all felt super charged with good energy. The starting line was just high-octane vibes all around.
The first half of the marathon was amazing, I felt so pumped, and I actually hit a PR for a half-marathon distance. I let myself think: Maybe this won’t even be so bad!
There is a reason that seasoned runners say: You run the first half of a marathon with your legs, the second half with your mind. It is estimated that less than 1% of the world's population has run a marathon, for good reason.
Right after that halfway point, both of my friends elected a slower pace, leaving me alone with my mind. And I was great up to mile 18. Then I got what I now refer to as “The Wobble”.
I’ve spoken with many athletes and found I am not at all alone in this phenomenon.
When your mind starts to say things like: Why the heck did we sign up for this? Surely this seems like a good time to quit, no? This is awful, and hard and I can’t do it, let’s go home.
Every time I looked at my watch, only .10 of a mile had passed. Woof.
It Was Brutal.
I wanted to quit so bad, everything hurt, I felt tired, drained, defeated. But a voice in me said: We will run the second half as fast as we ran the first half. You can do this.
And so, I pushed. There weren’t too many cheerers on that second half, but I just kept my habits ticking over. Run 45 minutes, eat some CLIF bars while walking, repeat, repeat, repeat.
When I hit that marker for only 3 miles to go, I could have cried. It was only a 5K, I did 5Ks all the time, I ate them for breakfast!
So, I ran faster and I just kept telling myself that I could do this hard thing. There were so many people cheering at the finish line. My energy started to soar.
I had a boyfriend many years ago who said: You don’t slow down at the end of a race, you speed up.
So, I sped up, going as fast as I could. And I literally ran the second half of that marathon in the exact same time as the first half. And when I crossed that line, tears rolled down my face. Seeing myself in action, not quitting, coming back stronger than I ever knew I could be was transformative.
I keep that feeling in my heart, always. Doing hard things and watching yourself bounce back even stronger than before is a gift you can’t buy. You have to earn it.
Do I think everyone needs to run a marathon? Heck no!
Hard things will be as individual as our fingerprints. We are all on different paths and meant for different hard things.
But I think if you ask yourself: What is my hard thing? What will push me out of my comfort zone? You will have an answer inside you.
The Antifragile Mindset
When we adopt an antifragile mindset, we transform our relationship with stress. Instead of avoiding discomfort, we recognize it as a catalyst for growth. Instead of shifting away from it, we move toward it.
This perspective shift allows us to:
Welcome challenges: Each obstacle becomes an opportunity to build resilience.
Thrive in uncertainty: Unpredictable situations become chances to adapt and improve.
Embrace Discomfort: Use uncertainty and challenging situations as catalysts for personal development
Practical Strategies for Antifragile Stress Management
Reframe Your Perspective
Instead of seeing all stress as harmful, recognize that some of it is a potential tool for improvement. This mindset shift allows you to approach challenges with curiosity and optimism. Not all storms come to break you—some come to build you.
Gradual Exposure
Start with small, manageable stressors and gradually increase their intensity. This could involve:
Waking up 15 minutes earlier each day
Taking on slightly more challenging tasks at work
Engaging in progressively more difficult physical exercises
Embrace Uncertainty
Rather than seeking constant comfort, intentionally expose yourself to unpredictable situations. This helps build adaptability and reduces overall stress when facing unexpected challenges. Comfort doesn’t build strength—challenge does.
Learn from Failures
Failure isn’t the opposite of success; it’s part of the path to it. View setbacks as valuable learning experiences. Analyze what went wrong and use that information to improve your strategies for future stressful situations. Build and grow.
Build in Recovery Time
Remember that antifragility involves not just exposure to stress, but also adequate recovery. Ensure you have periods of rest and reflection between stressful events to allow for growth and adaptation. Take good care of yourself.
Transform Stress into Strength: The Antifragile Advantage
By adopting these antifragile approaches to stress management, you can transform your relationship with stress from one of avoidance to one of growth and empowerment. Over time, you'll find that you not only handle stress better but actually thrive because of it.
The marathon taught me something I carry into every difficult situation: when you're in the middle of your own "wobble" – that moment when your mind begs you to quit – remember that pushing through doesn't just get you to the finish line. It fundamentally changes who you are.
Stress is the force that shapes you—it doesn’t break you, it makes you.
What's your marathon? What challenge awaits that could reveal a stronger version of yourself? Find that hard thing. Move toward it instead of away from it. Your future self will thank you for the gift of resilience that no one can give you but yourself.
For more insights from Gen on effective stress management strategies and mindsets, subscribe to her account.
Some of my favorite posts of hers to date:
 | A guest post by
|
I’ve been wrestling with the concept of resilience lately—especially in the parenting space, where it can sometimes feel overused or even misapplied. I’ve been leaning more toward the idea that it’s something we call on when outside forces demand it—a toll we pay to keep going, to *make it through*. I’m grateful for this post and its timing—it’s a much-needed reminder of the value of resilience and the strength that can come from internalizing and practicing it in a more grounded and meaningful way. Thanks for sharing, Kyle!
Thanks for sharing this post, Kyle. I know what my marathon is and now I know what to do when I wobble.