Tomorrow Isn’t Promised

A story about reframing perceived problems through the lens of uncertainty.

Training Origins

I started training in mixed martial arts (mma) in late 2016 after I learned I was going to be a father.

I immediately loved it. It was if I had finally found something I had been searching for my entire life.

Basketball was my favorite sport as a kid but my dad was a collegiate wrestler and helped train guys in nearby programs. This allowed for some intermittent and informal exposure to a critical foundation of fighting - wrestling. Being able to dictate where a fight takes place is a valuable asset. My dad unknowingly taught me about wrestling throughout my younger years. My friends and I also enjoyed boxing. With terrible technique and ridiculous constraints, we had many tournaments and bouts that would probably make for some entertaining videos online these days. These past experiences on top of my being a decent learner and athlete helped me get invitations to the professional fight team’s exclusive training sessions.

Within half a year, I went from being a soft nail to a hard one. Still taking my lickings every training session, often coming home bloodied and bruised in some way, I was getting better. My boxing and wrestling were increasingly improving allowing me to hold my own and find small wins within otherwise big losses during our competitive rounds. Mentally, I knew I was on the right track. The biggest hole in my game was obvious, jiu-jitsu. Anytime the fight went to the ground, I was in trouble. Regularly getting choked or having a limb put on the brink of getting broken before I tapped, I was trying to prevent fights from going to the ground rather than immersing myself at getting better in this realm.

As the due date for my daughter approached, I knew my training days/times would have to be condensed around my already hectic work schedule. My buddy, who both trained on the pro mma team and coached several of the jiu-jitsu classes in our gym as a brown belt, had been telling me I needed to start devoting myself to grappling for over a month now. He helped coach classes at 5:30am on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Those mornings became my regular training schedule for the next three years.

Still training with the mma guys whenever I could squeeze a night or two in, I began noticing how different our sparring rounds would be as my skills on the ground improved. I started becoming a hammer to many of the guys who used to make me a nail. My small wins against our best guys grew in number and positions within a round.

My mind was improving with my body.

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Competition

The benefit of being close with and mentored by the mma guys is the emphasis they placed on competition. You can get really good in the gym with consistent training, but competition stress tests your skills in a way that is hard to emulate with teammates who know you well. This led me to continuously enter the handful of tournaments that were available on island every year. I was able to win every match I had at white belt by submission. As a blue belt, hard losses early on taught me valuable lessons about strategy and skill opportunities in myself. After a good string of wins in a few tournaments, I learned that I was going to be invited to compete in the island’s premiere invite-only competition where I’d be matched against another service member in the Air Force in one of their featured military matches where competitors wear their working (camouflage) uniforms. Having attended this event the past two years, I was really excited to test my skills on a bigger stage.

A few weeks out, my training couldn’t have felt better. I was now able to give anyone close to my size a hard time in the gym regardless of skill level and my fitness was at an all-time high. I was ready to run through whoever the airman might be that I would be matched up against.

Then our coach received a text. I had been replaced by another sailor who happened to train with the team who hosts the event.

I was pissed.

The guy who was given my spot was actually a corpsman stationed in my command. I knew his face and was friends with the officers he worked with. I remembered hearing great things about him both as a sailor and athlete, but I immediately resented him. He was gifted something I felt I had earned.

A few weeks later, I begrudgingly watched the military match in between a few others where I helped corner my teammates. It was a great match where both guys put on a good performance, but I kept my negative energy regarding the missed opportunity.

Picture from the match.

I crossed paths a few times with the young man who unknowingly took my chance at representing the Navy and my team. Never speaking to one another, he continued on with his life while I internally remained jealous. Before long, I was getting ready to move off island to my next duty station while he preparing to detach to a marine unit.

Fast forward a year and a half later in late August of 2021. During the US military’s withdrawal from Afghanistan, a suicide bomber rushed a gate at Hamid Karzai International Airport Kabul killing 170 Afghan civilians eleven marines, one soldier, and one Navy corpsman who were manning the entrance. As the pictures of our service members came across the news, I immediately recognized the face of the sailor.

Reaching out to my buddy who he worked with at Navy Hospital Guam, I confirmed it was Maxton Soviak.

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Maxton Soviak

From maxtonsoviak.org:

Maxton graduated from Edison High School in 2017 with a determined mind to join the Navy. He went to boot camp at Great Lakes Chicago and from there he went to Texas for A school. Once he graduated A school he was stationed in Guam. While in Guam he worked as a medic in vaccinations and surgery. Guam provided him with many opportunities to meet some amazing people and grow as a person. During his time there he enjoyed cliff diving, scuba diving, cross fit, wrestling, jujitsu, and was able to help start a biddy wrestling program.

He dreamed of going greenside with the Marines and was looking forward to making that dream come true. He attended Corpsman school in California at Camp Pendleton. Upon graduation he was assigned to 2/1 Ghost company. He felt a sense of pride and excitement as things were falling into place. While on a routine deployment to Jordan the battalion was called to assist with the humanitarian effort to evacuate those trying to escape the Taliban in Kabul.

At only 22 years old, Max had already lived a life worthy of a legacy.

I later learned that Max’s shift had been over for an hour before that fateful moment. He stayed behind to support his team as he was especially passionate about preserving safety for children.

I’m still ashamed of how I reacted to losing my chance to compete in a local exhibition match. Disappointment is understandable for someone who loves competing. Projecting that disappointment onto another who simply took the same opportunity he had also earned while jumping to conclusions and holding onto resentment, unacceptable.

I won’t let that happen again.

Tomorrow’s uncertainties can add clarity to today’s opportunities.

Max’s life impacted countless people for those lucky enough to truly know him. His legacy continues to live on through his foundation and stories. Personally, he humbled me and improved my perspective on any form of personal or interpersonal problems. I regularly ask myself questions when personal or interpersonal issues arrive and these questions have been honed due to Max:

If your perceived aggressor died tomorrow, would you keep that same energy?

Are your supposed transgressions actually a problem, let alone true?

Are these issues objectively something you can work on externally or just manifestations within one of the few things you actually have control over - the interpretations of your thoughts?

Are you contributing or sulking?

Are you focused on getting better yourself or others who are getting better regardless?

Are you making your life count every day?

Can you use the continuous potential of death to add significance to life?

Max was an incredible sailor and man. A high performer in every domain he entered. I had the opportunity to turn my perceived slight into an opportunity to connect and train with this young man following that event but allowed my pride and ego to make me weak instead.

The outpouring of support from the jiu-jitsu, CrossFit, and military communities to go with the countless stories about his character speak volumes to who he was.

A Hero WOD (Workout of the Day) was established in his honor.

The Civilian Marksmanship Program created an event in his name.

A foundation was created in his honor.

A worthwhile life is lived to the max. Maxton exemplified this in all domains while improving the lives of those around him.

Max was never aware of my petty issue, nor would he have cared if he was. He was too busy living and focusing on what matters.

Thank you, brother. I will continue trying to earn this opportunity while applying the lessons you unintentionally taught me.

You made me better.