"Empathy is curiosity whereas sympathy is concern." Reading this from Japan, I kept thinking of a Japanese word: sassuru, to sense what someone feels without being told. Not absorbing their pain. Not solving it. Just reading the room so carefully that words become unnecessary.
Great angle and example to tackle the differences and overlap between empathy and sympathy. I immediately began thinking of the people around me (family and friends) and put them into one of the two categories as a means to poke holes into how that was impacting, or not, their emotional and physical stressors. Good exercise for self, too.
“I was fully absorbed in the moment and the overwhelming emotions that come from seeing another human hurting. I needed to help to ease his suffering.”
We are who we are. I remember taking my then 8 year old son to NYC for the first time and seeing his sympathy and upset for the homeless people on the street. I remember my first experience of feeling a deep desire to help a suffering friend. Interesting that my son and you and I all pursued “helping” careers. We are who we are.
TBH, I’d rather see more sympathy than empathy in the world. It’s the engine for caring and helping, which are in short supply. We can do a lot of good with sympathy. Empathy refines the helping impulse and generates more data and accurate interventions. The combination is beautiful. Thanks for writing about this important topic at this time of uncaring strife, Kyle.
If I were to re-write my essay on toxic empathy, I'd retitle it to toxic symapthy because that's really what's being weaponized. However, most people call it Empathy so I'll leave that alone :)
It's interesting because it's nuanced and few people actually know the difference but both Sympathy and Empathy have currency. One of my biggest frustrations with Emotional Intelligence training revolves around the idea that those who can 'empathize' most convincingly, 'win'....
Hahah I originally wrote in my summary of your article that you were more so describing toxic sympathy but toxic empathy works due to the overlap we keep exploring. Thanks for the continued push to evolve my thinking brother.
"Empathy is curiosity whereas sympathy is concern." Reading this from Japan, I kept thinking of a Japanese word: sassuru, to sense what someone feels without being told. Not absorbing their pain. Not solving it. Just reading the room so carefully that words become unnecessary.
Beautiful nonverbal application. So many great words and concepts come from Japan. Thank you for sharing! 👊🏻
Thank you! Glad it resonated.
Great angle and example to tackle the differences and overlap between empathy and sympathy. I immediately began thinking of the people around me (family and friends) and put them into one of the two categories as a means to poke holes into how that was impacting, or not, their emotional and physical stressors. Good exercise for self, too.
Thank you Stacy. Differentiating these two terms has continued to be helpful for me.
I think it might also be a good exercise to determine where we are on the scale and how that changes and revises itself based upon situation?
Love it. Continuous observation and reorientation.
In the current emotional climate, it is important to check our own hypocrisies which do blur the line in empathy and sympathy.
❤️👊🏻
“I was fully absorbed in the moment and the overwhelming emotions that come from seeing another human hurting. I needed to help to ease his suffering.”
We are who we are. I remember taking my then 8 year old son to NYC for the first time and seeing his sympathy and upset for the homeless people on the street. I remember my first experience of feeling a deep desire to help a suffering friend. Interesting that my son and you and I all pursued “helping” careers. We are who we are.
TBH, I’d rather see more sympathy than empathy in the world. It’s the engine for caring and helping, which are in short supply. We can do a lot of good with sympathy. Empathy refines the helping impulse and generates more data and accurate interventions. The combination is beautiful. Thanks for writing about this important topic at this time of uncaring strife, Kyle.
Love it Baird. Agreed. Sympathy is born from love and we can always use more love.
If I were to re-write my essay on toxic empathy, I'd retitle it to toxic symapthy because that's really what's being weaponized. However, most people call it Empathy so I'll leave that alone :)
It's interesting because it's nuanced and few people actually know the difference but both Sympathy and Empathy have currency. One of my biggest frustrations with Emotional Intelligence training revolves around the idea that those who can 'empathize' most convincingly, 'win'....
Hahah I originally wrote in my summary of your article that you were more so describing toxic sympathy but toxic empathy works due to the overlap we keep exploring. Thanks for the continued push to evolve my thinking brother.
Really well said!
Thank you brother.