Parenting is the greatest crash course in resilience you’ll ever take.
In this powerful conversation with Kyle Shepard—dad of (almost) four and fierce advocate for emotional intelligence—we got real about what it means to raise kids who are both kind and tough in today’s overstimulated world.
Here’s what we unpacked:
Emotional Intelligence Isn’t Taught in the Meltdown
Kyle dropped a truth bomb early on: “No one learns well in the middle of a meltdown.”
We talked about the importance of managing our own fire before helping our kids with theirs. It’s not about shutting down big feelings—it’s about slowing down, breathing together, and showing up with presence.
Your Kids Are Watching You More Than They’re Listening to You
They might not remember what you said… but they will remember how you acted.
From watching Kyle’s kids climb poles (literally) to watching how he responds when things go sideways, the lesson was loud and clear: Model the behavior you hope to see.
Literacy Is Confidence
As an author and founder of EmpowerLit, I shared my own experience with remedial reading—and how books became my lifeline. Kyle reminded us that reading isn’t just a skill, it’s a gateway to confidence, independence, and resilience.
“The data doesn’t lie,” he said. “Literacy is a volume game.” The more they read, the better they get—and the more they believe they can.
Failure Is the Playground of Growth
From backward shirts to botched drawings, Kyle embraces imperfection at home. He encourages independence—letting his kids pay for things at the market or dress themselves—because ownership breeds resilience.
As he put it: “We don't need to protect them from failure. We need to equip them to recover from it.”
Safety Means Honesty
One of the most powerful moments? Kyle talking about how his kids trust him with their secrets.
Not because he demands respect. But because he’s earned it—through empathy, presence, and letting them know they’re never alone.
A Bonus Perspective: Mary Kate’s Take on Embarrassment
After our conversation, Kyle’s wife Mary Kate (who’s an incredible mom and trained speech pathologist) listened in and loved it. She mentioned one thing she’d like to add—especially around how to help kids deal with embarrassment.
Here’s her brilliant, heart-centered breakdown:
🔹 Label it first. Help kids name the emotion and associated feelings—like “I feel alone,” “I think people are laughing at me,” or “I feel left out.”
🔹 Ask how it feels in the body. Maybe it’s a tight chest, trouble breathing, or cloudy thoughts.
🔹 Normalize the emotion. Let them know it happens to everyone—sometimes even adults.
🔹 Tell them your story. Share your own embarrassing childhood moment (or a recent one!). Kids connect deeply to stories—and knowing you’ve been there too makes them feel less alone.
🔹 Practice and prep. Help them rehearse the activity that triggered the embarrassment. Use strategies like mantras (“I’m brave enough to try”), reframing, and calming techniques like breathing.
Why This Conversation Matters:
We’re living in a world where kids are overstimulated, under confident, and often misunderstood.
But with the right tools, the right models, and the right support—we can raise a generation that knows how to feel, how to fail, and how to get back up stronger.
And it starts with us.
As Kyle mentioned in the interview is all very much inspired by the book Good Inside and child psychologist Becky Kennedy!
Share this post