The Steady Home: Recalibration
Moving from unsteady to steady.
Kyle and I have joked that “The Steady Home” should be renamed “The Chaos Corner” or “The Shaky Home” because the past few weeks, that has felt much more accurate to the climate within our walls.
Recovering from illness, returning to a semblance of structure and normalcy after the holidays, Kyle returning to work, and getting back into the school rhythm has been…challenging to say the least.
Our energies felt like they were focused more toward constant endurance rather than intentional participation.
Admittedly, reorientation hasn’t been easy.
But steady doesn’t necessarily mean immovable.
So how did we break out of it?
1. Acknowledge the funk and take ownership of our place in it. When the captain and first mate admit to each other that the ship has gotten off course, they are able to take action to correct it.
2. Reach for anchors. A consistent routine, our Sunday dinners, earlier bedtimes. The familiar-and familial-rhythms signal to everyone’s nervous systems that it’s safe to settle in.
3. Lead with our tone. When I’m short with my kids, they’re short with me and each other. Behaviors ramp up because of disregulation and suddenly it feels like all we do is put out fires. When I soften my tone, it colors the next moment differently.
We’ve had a few false starts. This month has required more repair than usual.
But steadiness cannot happen, by nature, without disruption. Recalibration is always necessary when you get knocked off your axis. And that’s how it’s felt lately. I struggle with my next thought being “and that’s ok…” because the fact is, it’s not. We can’t sustain our values in that. I don’t want to excuse continued weakness, because the fact is, we needed to get it together. And now that January has finally given way February, it feels like we have found our footing.
Sunday Dinner: Chicken Cacciatore over pan seared polenta rounds. Salad with a Caesar vinaigrette and sourdough to round it all out. Cozy, rustic, and grounded in slowly developed flavors.
There exists a through line of tenderness within this piece. A reminder of tone. How awareness (whether it be voice or stature) helps to temper the next action, the next words.
Shared dinners are the best.
Never a dull moment right ?! There is so much value in acknowledging… in recognizing and becoming aware of… commotion and related energy. It’s precisely what makes recalibration possible as you mentioned. Recalibration is such a powerful word… Though I may be a little biased being a lab tech for 20 something years. Thank you Mary Kate… this was reassuring.