Is it bad when parents think that time flies by when as their kids grow? To me, it seems that parents who say this are the ones who are unable to be present with their kids when it counts. I’m worried about wasting time doing the things that are opposite to what you are recommending in this article if I become a parent. I tend to take things literally and think that when you say “the days are long, but the years are short” you are saying we don’t have much time to be parents, and no time can be ever be wasted, because one day, your kids will be gone and you’ll be left with the regrets of everything you failed to do as a parent who is unable to internalize the message you are spreading. Or am I reading into the metaphor too much?
In my opinion, time can only be wasted when we are not conscious, intentional, and/or present.
The quote the days are long but the years fly by implies that there will be many hard days regardless of what you do. Embracing the hard days and doing your best to show up with your best attitude and effort promote connection with children or anyone despite adversity. Some phases of life are more challenging and feel longer than others. When looking back on these trials after they’re over, they no longer seem as long and often contain some of our best lessons and opportunities for improvement.
I don’t think you’re reading too much into anything as deep reflection and contemplation to apply lessons to yourself uniquely is one of the best mental practices we can do before actually getting into the arena ourselves.
But isn’t looking back ineffective because you could put on rose colored glasses and discount how long and hard it felt, and then everything it happens again, you forget to have the hindsight you thought the previous time?
Shit #2 is Elephant Riding! Great points and written in a way that captures the attention. Which brings to mind a collaboration we should do "How To Give a Real Shit"
You are right the number one gift you can give your child is your presence, total presence, not having our children around while we are doing something. Woo, I have seen many parents who feel so much under pressure because they are thinking what others will think. Good stuff. By the way I have been working with parents for a long time and I write on parenting too. I have grown children. Happy parenting!
well said, brother! number 2 resonates deeply ... I've found immense comfort in my emotional intensity to see it as a signpost of how much I care and how deeply I love (and, often just a dysregulated nervous system, of course :) thanks for sharing and keep on!
Love this straight-forward approach. It takes wisdom to distill parenting into simple, practical principles. Simple but not always easy. Many parents have unprocessed material from their own childhoods - which complicates matters. It also increases the motivation to heal.
I really love these principles. They feel so practical and real. Being present, managing emotions, and focusing on what works for a family is advice I’ve lived and practiced over the years. I especially like how it balances caring deeply with staying grounded. Thank you for sharing these insights.
Is it bad when parents think that time flies by when as their kids grow? To me, it seems that parents who say this are the ones who are unable to be present with their kids when it counts. I’m worried about wasting time doing the things that are opposite to what you are recommending in this article if I become a parent. I tend to take things literally and think that when you say “the days are long, but the years are short” you are saying we don’t have much time to be parents, and no time can be ever be wasted, because one day, your kids will be gone and you’ll be left with the regrets of everything you failed to do as a parent who is unable to internalize the message you are spreading. Or am I reading into the metaphor too much?
In my opinion, time can only be wasted when we are not conscious, intentional, and/or present.
The quote the days are long but the years fly by implies that there will be many hard days regardless of what you do. Embracing the hard days and doing your best to show up with your best attitude and effort promote connection with children or anyone despite adversity. Some phases of life are more challenging and feel longer than others. When looking back on these trials after they’re over, they no longer seem as long and often contain some of our best lessons and opportunities for improvement.
I don’t think you’re reading too much into anything as deep reflection and contemplation to apply lessons to yourself uniquely is one of the best mental practices we can do before actually getting into the arena ourselves.
Thank you for the read and reflection 👊🏻
But isn’t looking back ineffective because you could put on rose colored glasses and discount how long and hard it felt, and then everything it happens again, you forget to have the hindsight you thought the previous time?
How you decide to look back and use the reflective time is up to you
Haha, I guess I should have expected that answer! Thank you for your kind words and have a great night
Haha I’ll never tell anyone what perspective they should have specifically but I’ll definitely say they have a choice in it. Thank you too
Shit #2 is Elephant Riding! Great points and written in a way that captures the attention. Which brings to mind a collaboration we should do "How To Give a Real Shit"
So many good collaborative ideas! I threw some notes at our empathy one earlier this weekend. Will keep at it 👊🏻
You are right the number one gift you can give your child is your presence, total presence, not having our children around while we are doing something. Woo, I have seen many parents who feel so much under pressure because they are thinking what others will think. Good stuff. By the way I have been working with parents for a long time and I write on parenting too. I have grown children. Happy parenting!
Appreciate you Anima!
well said, brother! number 2 resonates deeply ... I've found immense comfort in my emotional intensity to see it as a signpost of how much I care and how deeply I love (and, often just a dysregulated nervous system, of course :) thanks for sharing and keep on!
Same here! Still mess it up but these reminders eventually pull me back. Appreciate it brother.
Love this straight-forward approach. It takes wisdom to distill parenting into simple, practical principles. Simple but not always easy. Many parents have unprocessed material from their own childhoods - which complicates matters. It also increases the motivation to heal.
You’re the best Judith. Means a lot coming from you. Thank you
I really love these principles. They feel so practical and real. Being present, managing emotions, and focusing on what works for a family is advice I’ve lived and practiced over the years. I especially like how it balances caring deeply with staying grounded. Thank you for sharing these insights.
Beautifully put and appreciate your feedback!
Thank you, I really enjoyed your post.
Very nicely stated Kyle!
Thank you brother 👊🏻
Love this one even more the second time, Kyle!
Appreciate you brother
This is one of my favs of yours! I can't count how many times a week I think, 'give enough of a shit - but not too much.' 🧡
If it resonates with you then I know I’m on the right track! 👊🏻