25 Comments
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Baird Brightman's avatar

Great 20K foot view on good parenting, Kyle. I did a pretty good job with #1 and #3. Crap on #2. So it goes.

Kyle Shepard's avatar

Two will get ya! (Gets me daily)

Kyle Shepard's avatar

#1 obviously the most crucial though that you would think would be an automatic check in the box for all… unfortunately not the case which I why I must be stated and prioritized

Baird Brightman's avatar

I was fortunate to not be a career-obsessive. Worked part-time (self-employed) when my kids were young, so showing up was doable. Wish the frustration tolerance/control had been better though.

Michael Woudenberg's avatar

Shit #2 is Elephant Riding! Great points and written in a way that captures the attention. Which brings to mind a collaboration we should do "How To Give a Real Shit"

Kyle Shepard's avatar

So many good collaborative ideas! I threw some notes at our empathy one earlier this weekend. Will keep at it 👊🏻

Anima Martins's avatar

You are right the number one gift you can give your child is your presence, total presence, not having our children around while we are doing something. Woo, I have seen many parents who feel so much under pressure because they are thinking what others will think. Good stuff. By the way I have been working with parents for a long time and I write on parenting too. I have grown children. Happy parenting!

Kyle Shepard's avatar

Appreciate you Anima!

Jason Blydell's avatar

well said, brother! number 2 resonates deeply ... I've found immense comfort in my emotional intensity to see it as a signpost of how much I care and how deeply I love (and, often just a dysregulated nervous system, of course :) thanks for sharing and keep on!

Kyle Shepard's avatar

Same here! Still mess it up but these reminders eventually pull me back. Appreciate it brother.

Judith Frizlen's avatar

Love this straight-forward approach. It takes wisdom to distill parenting into simple, practical principles. Simple but not always easy. Many parents have unprocessed material from their own childhoods - which complicates matters. It also increases the motivation to heal.

Kyle Shepard's avatar

You’re the best Judith. Means a lot coming from you. Thank you

Saima Durrani's avatar

I really love these principles. They feel so practical and real. Being present, managing emotions, and focusing on what works for a family is advice I’ve lived and practiced over the years. I especially like how it balances caring deeply with staying grounded. Thank you for sharing these insights.

Kyle Shepard's avatar

Beautifully put and appreciate your feedback!

Saima Durrani's avatar

Thank you, I really enjoyed your post.

Erik Hogan's avatar

Very nicely stated Kyle!

Kyle Shepard's avatar

Thank you brother 👊🏻

Lou Tamposi's avatar

Love this one even more the second time, Kyle!

Kyle Shepard's avatar

Appreciate you brother

Erin Miller's avatar

This is one of my favs of yours! I can't count how many times a week I think, 'give enough of a shit - but not too much.' 🧡

Kyle Shepard's avatar

If it resonates with you then I know I’m on the right track! 👊🏻

Second Principles's avatar

I write for no other reason than to spur thought. Those thoughts take a variety of forms. I just published a short piece, packed with important thoughts for current and future parents. I’d love to connect with others over thoughts/feedback.

https://substack.com/@secondprinciples/note/p-176360747?r=755xv&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action

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Aug 31, 2025Edited
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Kyle Shepard's avatar

In my opinion, time can only be wasted when we are not conscious, intentional, and/or present.

The quote the days are long but the years fly by implies that there will be many hard days regardless of what you do. Embracing the hard days and doing your best to show up with your best attitude and effort promote connection with children or anyone despite adversity. Some phases of life are more challenging and feel longer than others. When looking back on these trials after they’re over, they no longer seem as long and often contain some of our best lessons and opportunities for improvement.

I don’t think you’re reading too much into anything as deep reflection and contemplation to apply lessons to yourself uniquely is one of the best mental practices we can do before actually getting into the arena ourselves.

Thank you for the read and reflection 👊🏻

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Aug 31, 2025
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Kyle Shepard's avatar

How you decide to look back and use the reflective time is up to you

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Sep 1, 2025Edited
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Kyle Shepard's avatar

Haha I’ll never tell anyone what perspective they should have specifically but I’ll definitely say they have a choice in it. Thank you too