Why subscribe?

I grew up wanting to help others. From my earliest memories, I can recall how difficult it was to see loved ones continue to struggle with chronic stress. Similarly, I recall how interested I was in observing others effectively operate in the face of perceptually overwhelming adversity.

Why do some people appear unable to manage stress while others not only maintain control but seem to rise to occasion and function optimally?

How can the same stressor impact people so differently? 

These questions have stuck with me since I was a child.

My career in the military, particularly as a Resilience Instructor, along with becoming a father, which added a drive and purpose to everything I do beyond what I originally thought possible, has led to an almost obsession with human performance, resilience, stress management and life optimization.

The main thing I have learned in all my research and training is that we have a lot of control over our lives.

There is true power in perspective.

While we cannot control our genetics, what has happened in the past, or essentially everything external to our mind and body, the ability to manage judgements of your thoughts to create productive perspectives can truly change your life.

A balanced and adaptable perspective combined with practical strategies, training, and support systems is the foundation for developing a resilient mental state.

My goal in creating this page is to share wisdom I’ve gathered over the years from countless mentors, books, trainings and interactions. My intent is that some of this knowledge can positively impact your daily mental state and ultimately your life.


Become more resilient by joining our team.

For $5/month, you’ll unlock subscriber-only posts to include:

  • Resilience-building challenge series, workouts of the week, masterclasses, and more.

  • Full archive of past posts with personal recommendations from me based on your interests.

  • Early access to and input on all developing products.

Become a founding member to put real skin in the game:

  • Quarterly 30-minute call with me where a personal development plan to build resilience will be provided following each call.

  • Personalized intentional stress challenge post that will be crafted based on your unique goals.

I’ve worked 1:1 with thousands of individuals in healthcare, military, and leadership positions.

Guiding people in improving individual resilience and life trajectory is what I do.

There is no better time to make a beneficial change than now.


About me:

I'm a father of three beautiful children: Evelyn, Samuel and James. I'm married to an amazing woman named Mary Kate that I met at my first duty station, Camp Lejeune, in 2014. I've been in the U.S. Navy since 2013 as an audiologist/clinical doctor of hearing and balance.

My second duty station was at Naval Hospital Guam where I became a father and a man.

My wife and I had been married a little over a year after arriving to Guam.

Within the first two months we found out we were pregnant. We couldn’t have been more excited and nervous.

While I’ve always been an athlete/physically capable person, it was knowing I was going to be a father that finally motivated me to seek out martial arts in effort to enhance my ability to protect myself and my family. After going to a few Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) gyms, I found a mixed martial arts (MMA) gym and completely felt at home with the people and culture.

I began training before and after work as my wife and I began to further prepare for the arrival of our child.

~9 weeks into the pregnancy, we had a miscarriage.

They say childbirth is the most common miracle and that miscarriages are one of the most common tragedies.

Even though early-stage miscarriages are common, especially in first time pregnancies, this loss hurt and truly tested us.

I coped by trying to stay positive and strong while continuing to train.

My wife is a speech pathologist and naturally someone who connects through communication and sharing feelings. I had struggled with that historically for many reasons, especially when facing adversity. Putting my head down and grinding through is typically how I would operate rather than slowing down, being more present, and connecting/sharing.

My wife is also one of six children and incredibly close with her siblings. Being on the other side of the world as them during this time made it that much more difficult.

We were told losses like this can either make our bond stronger or deeply challenge it.

In the course of a month following the loss, due to my trying to put on a strong face and power through rather than truly connecting and empathizing with my wife, we were struggling.

It came to the point where a temporary separation was being considered. Before this consideration of having Mary Kate move back home with her family for a bit, we decided to try and intentionally connect every night by setting aside time for guided discussion, no technology, and other activities.

This forced presence on me.

It forced me to connect and share my feelings while getting to understand my wife, her beautiful perspective, and how she approaches adversity very differently from me.

I fell in love with her all over again and this is when we both say we began truly becoming adults.

We were pregnant with my daughter, Evelyn, in a month.

The advice we received on the loss either strengthening or challenging our bond is something I regularly reflect on.

This tragedy is what ultimately led to a needed change, one that improved our lives individually and collectively.

This loss had meaning.

This adversity had purpose.

While I wouldn’t wish a significant stressor on anyone, it is often challenging experiences that lead to growth.

Since that time:

  • I have taken trainings and become certified to teach stress management, resilience, and mental toughness in the military

  • I set a Guinness world record for most burpees in three minutes during COVID after we moved to MD and every gym was shut down

  • I’ve received my brown belt in jiu jitsu and have been teaching it at my local gym in here in MD, St Mary’s Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, since 2021 (one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done outside of parenting).

Ultimately, I have changed as a man.

I’d like to think I’ve always been a good, hardworking person, but that loss and adversity we faced challenged our marriage and lives to the core. It inspired productive and essential change we needed to preserve our marriage and put us on a path to get to where we are today.

Everything I do, my values, my goals, and my purpose, is derived around the love I have for my communities, friends, family, and especially my wife and children.

Viewing life and all that comes with it as a continuous series of challenges is the foundational perspective I start each day with.

IG: @resilientmentalstate; @kyleshepard10 (personal account); and @improve_or_perish (alias account where I follow personal interests and make posts to remember books, movies or quotes that I enjoy)

Facebook: Kyle Shepard

Twitter: @ResilientState

Linkedin: Kyle Shepard

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Practical challenges, evidence-based strategies, and principles of Stoicism to improve mental, physical, and spiritual resilience.

People

Naval Officer, Resilience Instructor, and BJJ/Fitness Coach looking to share knowledge I’ve gained over the years to effectively manage stress and become more resilient.